Whoa. Lots of work this week has kept me from doing my own thing over here at the lohdown, which is both good and bad. It’s a miserable, rainy Friday in the Bay Area — isn’t California supposed to be sunny? — and as I normally do when I get restless and vaguely dissatisfied, I’m checking out airfares.

This is not a good idea, as I have reconciled to the fact that I need to stay in one place like a normal person for a few months, bank some cash, and then I can go abroad again. I know that this plan is the Smart Thing To Do, and yet here I am scanning the Flight Deals pages on my main travel sites. Costa Rica. Peru. Egypt. Germany. Spain. It’s a clandestine activity; I feel like a recovering alcoholic slowly cruising past bars and nightclubs “just to see” what’s up. Is there such thing as a travel sponsor? Someone who can talk me down when I call at 4 a.m., palms sweaty, mouse poised to click “Buy Ticket” for a flight to Barcelona?

Probably not. All my friends with the traveling jones are either on the road, have just returned from somewhere great, or are planning a trip. So, per usual, it’s up to me to talk me down. You’re in a great city. You have friends and family here. You’re building up your clients. It’s about to be springtime in one of the greatest frigging wine countries in the world, right here at your doorstep. Put the mouse down. PUT THE MOUSE DOWN.

I need distractions.

Ah, yes. Here’s a distraction, Self … a merging of two geek weaknesses (geeknesses?), smoove articulate Democrats and superheroes. Both of which may or may not be fictional.

This was clearly drawn before the inauguration … Barack’s gotten a lot grayer since then. But how does Lincoln fit into all this? Wasn’t Peter Parker bitten by the radioactive spider during a decidedly post-Civil War school trip?

We’re just going to ignore the Lincoln aspect of it and plunge into the storyline …

Here we have Spidey busting up into the Inauguration and revealing that the about-to-be-sworn-in President is an imposter! Time to expose the FauxBama! Was it Spidey sense, or is it the fact that the real Obama would never make that face when there’s a camera around? Or maybe because the Secret Service guy looks more like the real Barack than FauxBama?

Don’t be too upset, FauxBama. You would have bounced as soon as the health-care reform hearings were underway, having realized your evil genius pales in comparison to that of Congressional Republicans.

The fist-bump … a true American greeting, designed to prevent the spread of germs, because who can afford a trip to the doctor?

“Thanks, Spidey! Now I can sally forth with the thankless, frustrating, possibly politically suicidal Bataan Death March that is the Road to Health Care Reform!”

Who doesn’t love a happy ending?